


Our Prophet Andraste Academy

by LinnyBear



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Boarding School, Everyone is Teenagers AU, F/F, F/M, I Attempt to Multi-Chapter, Polyshipping is my crack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 13:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6240883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinnyBear/pseuds/LinnyBear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Tucked away in the safety of the Frostback Mountains, located on the grounds of historic Skyhold Fortress, Our Prophet Andraste Academy is a proud institution of learning, and the betterment of its students. We gladly welcome students of all nationalities and races, so long as they have a desire to learn, a drive to work hard, and a love of their Maker."</p><p>[Scene: Boarding School. Open on Varric Tethras, first dwarf admitted to the academy in decades, and Hawke, unofficial leader of the school's most notorious trouble makers. Enter: transfer student Cassandra Pentaghast. Mayhem ensues.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Prophet Andraste Academy

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to Dammit_Hawke and illuminaticheeselord for helping me work out the kinks in a particularly difficult scene. I hope you enjoy reading this incredibly cliche AU as much as I will enjoy writing it.

“Varric Tethras, you are my favorite person in the world.”

They were some of Varric’s favorite words, honestly. It was a sign of another satisfied customer, and that was just good for business. “Always happy to help.” He winked. “For the right price.”

“Yeah, well, I have one of Stannard’s tests today.” Bull (THE Iron Bull, he insisted), shuddered. “I’d give one of my horns for this, honestly.”

“I don’t have use for one of those, Tiny. Especially not for a few energy drinks.”

“Still. The offer is there.” Bull laughs, and ducks out of Varric’s dorm.  

A few minutes later, the door opens and closes again, but Varric doesn’t turn around from where he’s taking inventory on his latest orders. “Evening, Elf.” He says, nonchalantly. Fenris grunts in reply. Three and a half weeks into the semester, and Varric still hadn’t heard a full sentence out of his dormmate.

He didn’t mind too much, most of the time. Saying nothing was better than arguing, he supposed, and it gave him a space he could usually work without distraction.

He got a full paragraph into his history work before Hawke burst through his door.

“Holy shit Varric I just met my new across the hall neighbor and she’s so hot I’m gonna die.” She flopped on his bed, as if to prove her ailment.

“Why, hello, Hawke. Yes, please come in.” He closed his laptop and turned to face her, though. He didn’t feel like doing homework anyway. “How are you just meeting her? We’re nearly a month in.”

“I dunno.” She shrugged. “I’ve been busy.”

“Right. You and Rivaini both.”

She grinned. “The best kind of busy.”

He sighed dramatically, although it was mostly for show. “So. Tell me about this hot hallmate. What’s her name?”

“I dunno.”

“Hawke.”

“I was distracted, okay? She’s _hot.”_

“Her _name_ is Cassandra.” Rivaini strode in and took her own seat at the foot of Varric’s bed.

“You only know because you want her on The List.”

Isabela’s To-Do list, which included half the school at least (and once included some teachers, until Aveline reminded her of how much trouble that could get literally everyone into, and possibly threatened her with bodily harm) was infamous. To-Do, naturally, was euphemism for “to fuck,” but Rivaini couldn’t help the obvious play on words.

No less than seventeen slots on the list were taken by Hawke. At least two were taken by Varric’s chest hair.

“Can you blame me?” Rivaini replied wistfully. “I mean, you saw her.”

“I did. Shit, Varric, you have to meet her. Like, I thought I had the hierarchy of hot people at this school sorted, but she could beat us all with her legs alone.” Hawke threw an arm over her eyes. “And Honestly? I would accept her as my leader. She could use my face as a throne, if she wanted.”

Varric made an exaggerated gagging noise. From the other side of his room, Fenris snorted.

“Sorry you have to hear this, Elf. I couldn’t control these two if I wanted.”

“It would be a tragedy if you could.” Rivaini picked up Hawke’s legs to drape them over her lap. “What would you do without our colorful view of the world?”

“Sleep. Probably have a shot at returning to the Maker’s side.”

“Boooring,” Hawke made a very mature fart noise with her hand. Varric rolled his eyes. “Why not just party in eternal damnation with us?”

“I probably will anyway.”

“That’s the spirit.”

 

As luck would have it, there was a very attractive leggy stranger in his history class the next day. He wondered how he managed to miss her- and then remembered that he had probably slept through every minute of this class so far. He decided on a probably bad impulse to upset the classroom balance and sit next to her for once.

“So you’re the famous Cassandra.” He hoped he was right. He’d look like an idiot otherwise.

“Maker, tell me I’m not actually famous,” she groaned.

“You met my best friend yesterday.” He corrected. “Dark hair, decided lipstick is for the bridge of her nose?”

“Ah. Hawke.” She smiled. “She is… Interesting.”

“That is a very kind way of putting it.”

“I can be kind, from time to time.”

He snorted. “So, you weren’t here last year.”

“And you are very observant, I see.”

“I pride myself on it.” That earned him a laugh, and he was proud of himself for some reason. “Did you transfer in?”

She nodded. “From the Sentinel Finishing School. In Cumberland.”

“Shit, the Seeker academy?” She rolls her eyes, but nods. “What are you doing here?”

“I needed… Some space.” Which is just cryptic enough that Varric can’t help but pry.

“Some space from what? Shit, coming from a place like that, you could have been set for life.”

“I could have.” She’s withdrawing a little now

“So what happened? Have a little boy trouble?” He knows he should stop. He really does. But he’s enjoying himself too much.

“No.”

“Kill someone then?” And _t_ _hat’s_ when she turns to him with a look that could have cracked stone.

“Did you have a reason to talk to me, besides to badger me about my past? Is this your idea of making a pass at me?”

“What, I can’t be curious about someone’s life?”

“Someone else’s, maybe.” Cassandra turns to the annoyed elf girl who just discovered Varric had taken her seat. “Take mine. I’m moving.”

Varric just stared after her, slack jawed, until the professor called attention to the class.


End file.
